Friday, 1 July 2016
The Do's and Don't's of Fictional Vampires
As a writer and avid reader there are certain things I have come to expect whenever a story is under the sub genre of Vampire. We all like the odd twist here and there that makes the story different from the hundreds that are produced daily but there are certain mythological standards I expect to be upheld. I like realism to my blood sucking fiends which leads me to my first point
1. Blood sucking
Vampires of myth are meant to survive on blood. I don't care if its human, animal or donations from a blood bank or butcher. They dine on the red stuff. If you have the vampire chowing down on a hamburger and fries as anything other than a ruse to fool humans then you've lost me. It can also lead to a long list of messy questions about bodily functions.
Vampires cannot go out during the day. Its the whole reason they get called the children of the night. Now there are circumstances I am willing to accept. Magic talismans that give them the ability to day walk. A rare bloodline. Or they are just so old they gained a high tolerance (but even then factor fifty sunscreen is required).
The whole reason vampires tend to move from place to place is they never age. Human's would get suspicious. So stories where the family has lived in a small town for "generations" and nobody has twigged annoy me.
4. Vampire pregnancy
Ok, recently I read a layout for a story where the basic sequence of events was this - girl meets vampire, girl gets turned into vampire, girls gets dumped and hooks up with another vampire and has a baby, her ex returns to mess it all up. I was like what?
First - female vampires cannot have children in the common lore. Vamprism is supposed to freeze the person at whatever stage of development they are at. Hence the forever young etc. A woman's body has to be able to change in order to have a baby. I can hear this little voice saying "but Bella had a baby". Yes she did but Twilight stuck with the lore, she conceived and birthed Renesmee while still human. I have absolutely no problem with humans conceiving with vampires, their half vampire children running about, because with all realism its not out of the realm of possibility as men don't have cycles of fertility.
Personally I am still waiting for Joss Whedon to explain how the baby inside human Darla managed to survive and continue to grow after she was turned back into a vampire. Easy answer is probably magic.
5. Beautiful and deadly
That concludes my thoughts on the do's and don't's of fictional vampires